Good mom? Bad mom?

We’ve all heard the phrase “Good cop, bad cop.” when referencing parenting. But, I’ve been contemplating the good mom versus bad mom mentality today. It’s been a pendulum swing in my heart and mind the last few weeks.

When I had my daughter, all of my time, effort and thought went into her well being. When I added my son, that all got divided into half, a little more tricky but doable! When I had our third, I divided that again. I feel like their are days where I don’t have enough time, effort and thought for everyone. I have days where I doubt my ability to be a good mom, teacher and friend to them. I second guess myself left and right. I have days where I feel like I’m stellar, and we have a rocking day.

I have days where I call my husband in tears, and some when I call laughing over.

But, I got to thinking. What makes me a good mom, and on the other side, what makes me a bad one?

We all have good days. We all have bad days. We all have emotions that come with those days. I want to teach my kids that it’s okay to have both kind of days, and to access those emotions to properly process them! Today I pulled my crying six year old onto my lap, while I cried too, and we voiced our frustrations, hugged, apologized, forgave and moved on stronger. THIS, THIS!

But, to conclude, at the end of the day, I’m neither good or bad, I am just their mom. The one who yells and cries. The one who laughs and encourages. The one who fails and gets back up. The one who teaches and guides. The one who needs to grow and learn along side them. You see, parenting didn’t come with a booklet, it came with kids and a slew of ups, and downs.

So, if I were to ask you. What makes you a GOOD mama? And, to be fair, what makes you a bad one?

I’d say, that all of the things you list, make you uniquely their mama. Created, ordained, creatively, uniquely, inspired to be their mama. God makes no mistakes, He knew they needed the good of you and needed to learn from the bad along side you. You see, you grow with your kids, let them see that. Be real. Say sorry. Grow together. Learn along side them. Seek Him together. Know His grace equally.

Because, someday they’ll be doing what you’re doing, living life and they’ll need all of this.

So, I’m neither good, nor bad. I’m just theirs, and they are mine, by His unfailing grace.

Until next time,

Becca

I’m busy!

It’s been awhile since I’ve sat and written anything.

We’ve been busy in our house! We gave birth to our third child back in January! A sweet little girl, Olive Judah. We have been spending the last five weeks getting use to our new normal! A family of five is no joke, and we are finally out numbered kid wise! That has brought a whole new level to our house, which is something I wanted to talk about today!

Yesterday while I was doing dishes, laundry, eating lunch and peeing all in the twenty minute break I got from holding the baby, I started thinking.

I was going to post on Facebook “I got all this done while the baby slept for twenty minutes!”. Why?

Because to me getting something done is clean dishes, a sparkling toilet, and laundry being cleaned.

Now don’t get me wrong, all of those things are nice in themselves. It’s more my perspective that is off about those things.

I’ve been measuring my days worth in what I can accomplish, organize, and clean in one day! If I don’t get what I wanted done, I didn’t get anything done. You hear me? I have three kids, and they keep me on my toes. I am usually bouncing from one thing to the next. One second I’m playing barbies with my daughter, changing diapers the next and tying capes to my son so he can be a superhero.

It’s never ending demands from them, and it’s exhausting. I go to bed with a full heart and an exhausted body.

I realized that I did get stuff done in my day. It hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday. The dishes are dirty because we ate food that day. We had full tummies all day, and the dishes are a prime example of that.

The toys all over the house, is a noticeable sign of a house we played in all day. So, if I have to clean it up, it means we got something done that day.

The dirty sink full of toothpaste, is a tell tale mess that shows we got something done today. We made a mess while cleaning our teeth and making smiley faces on mama’s mirror.

That pile of dirt on the ground, well that’s actually a pile of stickers, glitter, and various small toys, it’s a pile of fun!

The dirty laindry piled up, well, that’s just a sign that we’ve had a lot of adventures the last few weeks. They are paint covered. They are soiled in mud. They have remnants of toothpaste and cheesy snacks. They smell of baby spit up and poop. They are a reminder of all the fun we’ve had in the last five weeks. They remind me of the laughter, the crying, the yelling, the yawning, the everything.

So, if you come to my house and see a sink full of dishes, a pile full of fun, a carpet of toys, see us wearing dirty shirts or an art canvased mirror of toothpaste, don’t worry, I haven’t lost my mind, I’ve found it.

All the stuff I need to do is within those messes, they are called my kids. I get a lot done in one day. I snuggle my littlest a lot, I listen to stories about fairies and mermaids, I pretend I’m in trouble so captain America can save me. I’m busy, y’all.

Plus, when the fun of all the things we got DONE is over, my story teller and captain America are always there to lend me a hand to get their fun cleaned up! And, Olive will do her best to cry so we can stop, and go have some more fun!

Because, we LIVE in our home, y’all.

It ain’t for show, it’s for show and tell.

So, when you want a break, come visit our free living museum! It’s free, memorable and is guaranteed to make you want more.

Until next time,

Becca

Ps. Any typos, grammar errors, etc are due to lack of caring and sleep. 😂

Less is more!

Stuff, Stuff and More Stuff.

I know, some chick on Netflix has been getting into everyone’s screen minds and telling them to get rid of their stuff. I haven’t watched the show, and really have no interest to watch it either. But, I’m behind her 100% to get rid of stuff, and the anxiety that comes with it.

The last few years I have been combating anxiety that would then turn into frustration at my husband and kids. It was always surrounding the cleanliness of the house or the level of stuff being left behind. I found myself just being easily overwhelmed by messes and clutter. It’s something that I have been praying over and about for a better part of a year.

I really kept getting the word to simplify. Simplify. What does that look like in our modern day world of CRAZY?

Simplify homeschooling. Simplify my business life. Simplify my health. Simplify my home.

I’ve been on this journey of simplifying for about a year. I said “No” to all the extras of homeschooling, we decided to do something amazing this year and actually STAY HOME to do school. It’s been an amazing half a year so far schooling my kids. God is in the simple ness of rest and operating from that versus stress. Otherwise, you are breeding over worked/ stressed out kiddos, and no one wants that!

I quit my job, to actually be HOME and be present with my kids. That was a hard one to swallow, I had a fun job and it had people involved that I loved too! But, at the end of the day, I didn’t feel fulfilled in that job, I felt a lot of stress and longing to be somewhere else. I had always wanted to be a wife and a mom, purely that with no add ons. So much freedom in getting back to my roots on being just that. So much reward in being who I am meant to be. Hard, yes, but oh so good!

I got some heavy health news during my time of simplifying, which just furthered my knowing that God had me on a path of goodness.

I found a doctor who simplified the health issues, gave me knowledge that was worth GOLD to me. I found that less was truly MORE when it comes to taking care of ourselves. We don’t need all the new trends, medicines, etc. We just need to know how God created our bodies to WORK. Praise God for that wisdom and knowledge that only HE can provide! It’s still a process, but I’m thankful for the simple things He has established for me.

Last was my home, it says in proverbs that a wise woman will BUILD her home, but someone who is foolish will tear it down with her own hands.

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1

This verse knocked me off my feet one day. I probably read it ten times, while I cried over the content. I hadn’t been building my home, and if I wasn’t building it, what was I doing? I was unknowingly tearing it down. One tantrum at a time. One bad decision at a time. One “yes” too many at a time. One obligation at a time. One “SURE! What is one more thing?” at a time. One “what’s a little money thrown at junk to feel good”.

The past few months into the new year, I have focused myself on throwing and donating stuff we do not use, need or utilize to the fullest.

The lady on Netflix is correct about one thing, if it doesn’t bring you JOY, why have it at all? Stuff isn’t a filler. Stuff isn’t there to manufacture joy. Stuff isn’t a fill gap for a crappy attitude or an unhappy life perspective. It’s just what it is, it’s stuff.

Since January 1st, we’ve gotten rid of over 15 bags of useless stuff in our house! FIFTEEN bags! That does NOT include what I donated last year and threw out over the summer months! Our house feels lighter, our tables, bookshelves, cabinets, closets all feel lighter, more organized and now I don’t have to rummage for what I want or need.

My husband said it best “I didn’t realize by having too much, I’d never actually utilize what I wanted to use as well as I do now!”

Now my husband is a CLINGER, he clings to stuff, so for him to have this realization means that the stirring to eliminate and de-stress our lives has made an impact on him as well.

I have noticed that I am less anxious about cleaning up, less cranky about the kids rooms, less upset that stuff is lying around. Why? Because it doesn’t exist anymore.

The kids have less stuff, and GUESS WHAT they play happily with their toys now versus being frustrated with the clutter too. Kids feel that.

Less stuff lies around because we got rid of the clutter, extra furniture, extra crud that we didn’t love or use!

Anxiety for me, I believe is rooted in the clutter of our minds and the clutter of the lives we’ve created. We don’t say “No” enough to the things that don’t matter, and we don’t say “Yes” to our hearts desires enough. We let society, Facebook, Pinterest and our friends dictate social norm for us. We don’t depend enough on the simplicity of God the father, and the ease of his yoke! We take burdens on that we shouldn’t by creating havoc within our homes and minds. It’s time to take that space back for the kingdom of God, and allow your HOME to be a temple that the spirit would dwell within. Your home should be a place of rest, respite and rejuvenation. Not a place of constant mess and stress.

Less stress. Less mess. Less is more. Focus on the less.

Here’s to many MORE bags going out the door within our minds and within our homes. Focus on the goodness of simplicity.

Until next time,

Becca 😘

Happy New Year!

Happy 2019, y’all.

Every year when the call drops, and the confetti sprays and the champagne gets consumed, we all look back on our year and think about the year ahead.

This past year was a good year, what made it a good year? Everything did. All the good. All the bad. All the ugly. All the inbetweens.

Every situation led me to a place of growth. Every circumstance gave opportunity for change. Isn’t that what serving an amazing Father is like? His love is always there. His word is constant. His faithfulness is forever. He transcends my time on this earth and the things that happen around me.

For that, I am thankful.

We decided as a family to write down our goals for 2019. We’ve never written down goals and put them out to see, but this year we decided needed to be different on that. As we were making them, the verse about how we make our plans but the Lord decides the path came to mind.

We can write down goals. Say this year will be better than last year. We can proclaim that 2018 was a waste, and 2019 will hold gold for us. That we are going to change. That we will lose that dang weight. That we will be better people. That we will pay off that debt and make more money. Whatever the goal.

But, it was really put on my heart, that the only plan we should make is to submit ourselves to our Heavenly Father. To sacrifice this year to HIM, and to lay it at His feet. To give Him power, and authority over our goals, comings and goings, our character and lives.

Sacrifice. That’s the word.

I’m glad we have plans and goals, they are important, but they are not our FOCUS. Our focus should be on Him who determines our path and sets it straight to Him. I think we’d see more happen in our year if our ultimate goal was to please our God, obey His commandments and word, to lay down our lives for Him, to truly see wisdom and understanding over head knowledge. True wisdom and understanding only comes from a fear of knowing the God we serve, the all consuming fire, and choosing that over everything else.

So, this year, my prayer over this family and yours is that you come to know your Heavenly Father but also the all consuming fire, that is our God. That we grow in wisdom and understanding that transcends time and place, and takes us to His presence daily!

Happy new year!

Until next time,

Becca

Joy!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the joy of the Lord.

I had someone at church months back ask me what the joy of the Lord is exactly. She wasn’t asking for me to give an answer right then, but more so to create a challenge in my heart.

It’s challenged me. I haven’t stopped thinking about it, and praying about what the joy of the Lord is lately.

The more Christmas approaches, I realize how many people put their joy in the season of this one holiday. Everything we do and say is working around this one holiday. “It’s the joy of the season!”

What season? What joy? I started to realize, that I’ve put more weight and stock in holidays, events and the next highlight reel than I have in my daily mundane life.

It hit me more that, really, those things have only brought me momentary happiness, not true joy.

No, you see, true joy is something you can only gain from one source and it literally becomes your strength.

It comes from Him. It’s source is from Him. It cannot be outsourced to anyone or anything else, and have the same results. It transcends situations and circumstances. It becomes your strength.

See, it’s easy to have JOY when everything in your life is amazing and wonderful. It’s not easy to have joy when everything is falling apart around you.

That’s not joy then, is it? It’s just a temporary emotion of happiness that is dictated by the next wind of crap that comes our way.

I don’t want that kind of emotional roller coaster.

No, the JOY OF THE LORD is my strength. His spirit, His being, becoming my joy and in doing so, becomes my strength in all of life’s storms and trials. It’s an unshakable, tangible, strong fortress that can’t be permeated or penetrated by short term happiness, it’s JOY in Him.

It isn’t hinges on our life. It’s hinged on Him, and He isn’t changing. He’s the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. “

Hebrews 13:8

Our joy is secure in a God who is secure on His throne through every season of life.

“Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!””

Nehemiah 8:10

My prayer is that you all come to know that joy in your life, in everything. Not just in the good but more so in the yuck of life. It comes from being richly rooted in Him and His word. That His joy wash over you today in the midst of whatever is going on.

Until next time,

Becca