Good mom? Bad mom?

We’ve all heard the phrase “Good cop, bad cop.” when referencing parenting. But, I’ve been contemplating the good mom versus bad mom mentality today. It’s been a pendulum swing in my heart and mind the last few weeks.

When I had my daughter, all of my time, effort and thought went into her well being. When I added my son, that all got divided into half, a little more tricky but doable! When I had our third, I divided that again. I feel like their are days where I don’t have enough time, effort and thought for everyone. I have days where I doubt my ability to be a good mom, teacher and friend to them. I second guess myself left and right. I have days where I feel like I’m stellar, and we have a rocking day.

I have days where I call my husband in tears, and some when I call laughing over.

But, I got to thinking. What makes me a good mom, and on the other side, what makes me a bad one?

We all have good days. We all have bad days. We all have emotions that come with those days. I want to teach my kids that it’s okay to have both kind of days, and to access those emotions to properly process them! Today I pulled my crying six year old onto my lap, while I cried too, and we voiced our frustrations, hugged, apologized, forgave and moved on stronger. THIS, THIS!

But, to conclude, at the end of the day, I’m neither good or bad, I am just their mom. The one who yells and cries. The one who laughs and encourages. The one who fails and gets back up. The one who teaches and guides. The one who needs to grow and learn along side them. You see, parenting didn’t come with a booklet, it came with kids and a slew of ups, and downs.

So, if I were to ask you. What makes you a GOOD mama? And, to be fair, what makes you a bad one?

I’d say, that all of the things you list, make you uniquely their mama. Created, ordained, creatively, uniquely, inspired to be their mama. God makes no mistakes, He knew they needed the good of you and needed to learn from the bad along side you. You see, you grow with your kids, let them see that. Be real. Say sorry. Grow together. Learn along side them. Seek Him together. Know His grace equally.

Because, someday they’ll be doing what you’re doing, living life and they’ll need all of this.

So, I’m neither good, nor bad. I’m just theirs, and they are mine, by His unfailing grace.

Until next time,



1 thought on “Good mom? Bad mom?”

  1. You are so right ~ you are their mom and that means they get the best you have to offer daily… and some days will be more challenging and difficult than other days! But through it all, all you can do is your best. You are more than enough since God put them in your care.


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